


set our hearts ablaze

by aceofdiamonds



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 13:46:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7717177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aceofdiamonds/pseuds/aceofdiamonds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Here is when Jim will mumble into his skin, “We saved so many lives, Bones,” and all Leonard can do is hold on and be thankful that they’re alive, that they’re risking their lives for something worthwhile and true.</p>
            </blockquote>





	set our hearts ablaze

 

 

In the job they have, the life they chose, death is a common occurrence, and Leonard knows it’s down to damn good luck and  a handful of skill on either side that Jim’s made it through these years alive.

He feels lucky in his own skin too, of course, being a doctor doesn’t keep you back from the action, but he doesn’t hurtle headfirst into danger, either, and so the anxiety always feels decidedly one-sided.

His mom said something about love once when he was young, a throwaway comment in response to a news story. She had said that when you love someone your heart grows until it feels too big for your chest and while this ability to feel so much more is incredible most of the time, there are times when you worry until your throat is blocked and you can’t breathe. When Leonard heard this he vowed that he would never love someone that much.

And then he met Jocelyn and then he met Jim.

The worry is painful and raw each and every time Jim comes back from an away mission looking a little put together than when he left but everything else makes up for it and so Leonard sticks around and his heart continues to grow.

 

.

 

If Leonard cared to arrange his thoughts in Spock’s Vulcan way he might go as far as to say this routine they have is logical -- first they check the other over for life-threatening illness and then they have their small celebration that neither of them are dead.

The first contact is always the most overwhelming after an away mission that leaves everyone shaky. This is where Jim wraps his arms tight around Leonard’s waist, shoves his face in the crook of his neck, and holds on like he’s never going to let go. This is where Leonard closes his eyes and plays out that wishful little fantasy where this was the last time they were separated and that now they’ll both move into decidedly safer jobs.

Here is when Jim will mumble into his skin, “We saved so many lives, Bones,” and all Leonard can do is hold on and be thankful that they’re alive, that they’re risking their lives for something worthwhile and true.

“Glad you managed to hang onto your own, Jim,” he murmurs back, everything that came with Khan and the destroying weeks that followed a painful reminder to never take this for granted.

“That’s what I’ve got you for,” Jim says, and then he pulls back and looks at Leonard head-on, everything else he’s here for clear in his eyes.

In a relationship that feels like it’s been part of Leonard’s life for a lot longer than they’ve known each other it’s easy to fall back into the familiarity of one another. It's so goddamn _easy_ for Leonard to tilt his head and meet Jim’s mouth, a kiss ready and waiting, same as always. Jim’s always a little desperate with these kisses, his lips sliding wetly with Leonard’s, hand moving to curl in his hair and tilt him where he wants him, needy for the confirmation that they’re both in one piece.

“What would you do without me?” Bones says, pulling out of the kiss and back into their balance that the rest of the crew are privy to. They’ve not been the most subtle about the layers they’ve piled onto their relationship over the years but they haven’t sent out a ship-wide announcement about it either, half of it based on the captain/fraternizing with his crew policy, the other on the twist of privacy they want in moments like these. For now, having Jim grin at him and kiss him in the morning is enough. If Leonard is desperate for hand-holding on the bridge and Spock and Sulu’s sly comments he’ll ask for it.

“I think I’d live for maybe --” Jim pauses to think, screws up his nose. He’s bleeding there but he doesn’t wince so Leonard doesn’t worry. “--three days without you and then I’d find a way to get to you.”

“So the opposite of what I’ve been trying to do for the last six years?” Leonard checks, pushes past the tightening of his chest at the overly romantic thought of Jim being unable to live without him and the stickiness of the knowledge Leonard has that a couple of years back Leonard felt that exact way.

“I’m a foil to every one of your plans, Bones,” Jim says and then he kisses him again, short and sweet, before he wriggles out of Leonard’s hold and runs a hand through his hair. “I better get back out there.”

“I need to check on the newcomers from Nibia --”

“Hey, Bones, you ever think we’d be running a ship like this?”

And Leonard was always going to be happy healing people wherever he was, preferably on solid land, but rushing through space from planet to planet, doing good, is a good place to be, if a little different from the plans he made when he was eighteen. This is where Jim belongs, though, with his head in the stars and his heart reaching for everyone. Leonard realised a long time ago that being in the same space as Jim is exactly where he’s supposed to be, and so he nods, answers the question Jim asks three times a week. “I knew your stubborn ass wouldn’t stop till you had your hands on a crew and a ship that could take us everywhere.”

Jim makes his way over to the door, presses the controls to slide it open, leans against the jamb. “I love you, you know.”

Leonard waves him away, mind turning to his patients and how he should’ve been down there with Nurse Chapel ten minutes ago. On his way past Jim he claps him on the shoulder, body warm and solid beneath his hand, and flashes a quick smile. “I love you too. I’ll see you in the medical bay in an hour to clean up your face, okay?”

"With romance like that, Bones, how do I keep my hands off you?” Jim calls down the corridor, past a couple of Ensigns hurrying by.

"Go do your damn job, Jim.”

 

,

 

Later, when the Enterprise is settled, Leonard leaves the medical bay, walks quickly through the ship, and collapses into bed. Jim’s arm falls over his waist, pulls him close enough that Leonard swears he can hear his heart thumping beside his ear, and, taking this as another reminder that he’s managed to cling onto Jim for one more day, he closes his eyes, exhausted.

 


End file.
